My client shared this article with me about grief.
The One Thing No One Ever Says About Grieving
It talks about the process of grieving in a way that honors the gifts that grief can bring. We don’t often talk about Grief that way, do we? We see grief as something to get over. We see it as the enemy, as this insidious nightmare looming over us,
As friends to people who are grieving, their grief can ignite the untouched grief in our own lives. We find ourselves uncomfortable around people experiencing loss. We don’t know what to do. We don’t know what to say. We make ourselves busy around them, trying to “help,” because we sometimes can’t bear the thought of just listening while someone else cries. It’s so damn heartbreaking. It makes us feel so helpless.
Many are grieving and will be grieving for months and years to come because of the devastation on the Gulf from Hurricane Harvey.
Many are grieving and will be grieving for months and years because of the violence and hatred bubbling up to the surface in our communities.
Many are grieving and will be grieving for months and years because of the loss of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, or the loss of a job. There are so many reasons why one grieves because our lives are precious.
Martin Prechtel tells us that the other side of grief is praise. We grieve something because in some way, it was precious to us.
Brene Brown tells us that we cannot be selective in what we choose to feel. If we want to feel love and gratitude and PRAISE, we will be open to more uncomfortable emotions like GRIEF.
I am passionate about helping people Life the Life they Dream Of. To do that though, we’ve got to be willing to feel, to grieve – to touch the uncomfortable and often so very painful sensations and let them move through us.
“Even if you’re able to somehow avoid it all day long, grief comes back to you in your sleep. It’s laying right on your heart as you wake up.”
I’ve recently gone through an uncoupling. I am grieving. I know I am still grieving because I still dream about him. I think I’m done. I think I can move on. I continue working and playing and living my life. I’m not devastated or unable to function (my functionality is more limited though). But I am still grieving. My dreams don’t let me pretend that I’m not.
“Just because its been 6 months, 4 years, 15 years, whatever – none of that means anything to your grief. The clock starts when you begin to recognize your grief. In other words, when you genuinely begin to address what happened (or perhaps what never happened).”
Time does NOT heal all wounds. In fact, Time is irrelevant when it comes to grief.
What DOES move you through to the other side is being willing to
“UNDERSTAND that your heart is broken” You don’t need to justify why you need to grieve to anyone. Grief shows up when it has a job to do. That job is to bring you to a greater understanding of who you are and what is precious to you.
“RECOGNIZE the need to grieve” We have so many false stories around grief. We need to grieve alone; if we find something to distract us, we can take our mind off of it until enough time has passed; that alcohol or food or shopping or a new relationship or throwing ourselves into work will keep us from the grief (remember, it comes back to you in your sleep). The only way out is through.
“TOUCH the loss” If you can feel it, you can heal it. Gotta be willing to feel it.
“MOVE THROUGH” the grief. It may feel like you’ve reached the hardest part. But you have to keep going, right to the center of it and back out again. Certainly you can rest along the way, but don’t rest too long or you’ll get stuck right back in the grief loop.
Luckily, you don’t have to do ANY of this ALONE. Reach out for support – support that honors these 4 steps!
What are some signs that you’re still grieving?
* Feeling “stuck”
* Digestive Problems
* Achy Body
* Chest pains
* Difficulty concentrating or focusing
* Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
* Difficulty feeling connected to people
* Overindulgence in alcohol, food, shopping, television, screens, or any other escapism, including spirituality
There are many other physical, emotional, and spiritual indications of unresolved grief. If you or someone you know is ready to Feel the Feels and Move through the grief so you can Live the Life of your Dreams, reach out to me. I would be honored to support you in this Sacred Path <3